I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
