Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
