I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
