Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
