drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
