Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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