I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
