What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
