atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
