What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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