the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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