the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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