Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
