I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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