Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
