i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize