I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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