i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
