omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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