I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
