wat bout pragnant strippers??
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
