idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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