omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had sex on a roof
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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