OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Two words: blizzard sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
