Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
