you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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