i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
