is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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