I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
is wine microwaveable?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
