Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
