I cockslap morals
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
