3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize