Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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