if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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