her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
