The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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