I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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