2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
