Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
