Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize