If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
