You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How does it feel to date your dad?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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