If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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