Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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