Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
