I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
