I don't usually arrange sex via text message
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
