one might say we're banned from that church
fuck your aforementioned shoe
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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