Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
