So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
