That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
