Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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