singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
