Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
a search helicopter?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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