Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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