what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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