Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
