i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
