Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize