I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
