Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
