And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
