can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
