I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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