dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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