I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
