does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
