come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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