When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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