how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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