ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
