I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize