hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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