I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize