I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
